Three Things

I have to start somewhere. The tasks seem overwhelming, but I might as well document it here. Because at the end of a year, I believe that if I apply myself, Call Her Bluff, I will become a better, stronger, more authentic self. So here it all is:

I am overweight, 100 or more pounds overweight to be exact. My finances are at zero, meaning I have no savings. I do have equity in my house, I do have a car, and temporarily a full time job. At least for the next three months as I fill in for an administrative manager who was fired, and get paid to do her job at my old rate. The economy or perhaps the foolish spending in the company cost me full time status and a cut in salary, and I took it. Then when trouble hit, they asked me to come back full time, and I accepted. Humbled, humiliated, I went back. Was it the right thing or the wrong thing? For me, I think I lost a bit of my self. And if I had been financially stronger I believe my choice would have been different. But the life I created isn't financially sound and that needs to change if I no longer want to be controlled by the whims and thoughts of others.

I need to be my own boss. My first task this year is begin to accomplish three things each day that are personal accomplishments. Not for the job, not for others, not for anyone by me. Each daily entry will start out with my THREE THINGS. A simple life changing TO DO List. Three simple things, 365 days a year, for one full year. Join me. Start posting your three things. Let's start together today. Let's begin our lives again. We can do it!

Call Her Bluff.

Call it my alter ego, call it my inner self, today is the day I am calling her bluff. She says I can be fabulous at 50. She says I can accomplish anything I set out to accomplish. She believes I am invincible, a can do person, with a great smile, a strong contender for the good life, able to leap tall buildings. A Superwoman like no other.

I on the other hand fight her tooth and nail each day. I eat more than I should, exercise less than I need to, spend money, make and break my own promises, and apply a defeatist attitude to many days, many moments.

Mostly I do this when it's about me. To all those on the outside looking in, I am my inner self. To me, the outer doesn't match the inner. It's a constant struggle to finding me. I accept rejection silently, demand nothing from others, expect less and less for myself.

Today I am calling my own bluff. Today begins anew. Small steps toward a closer alignment of her and me. She and I. We.