So, How are you doing?

Well, I haven't posted in awhile. This habit didn't last long, but its a good one to keep, so I am getting started once again. I should not put myself down because in looking at my three things, I didn't do so bad. Failing miserably in the exercise arena, but I did hurt my knee badly and caught a terrible cold so time to kick back into gear with some alternative ideas for exercising. Here's a recap of my three things and how I did:

1) Love Dare: Still can't get past Day 1. I think I have some anger issues. Either that of I just can't keep my mouth shut.
2) Help out my brother while wife is away. I did that and for over 8 hours my brother had some free time and my husband and I had a great time with our nephews.
3) Exercise once a week. hmmmmm, does walking up the stairs to bed count?
4) Craft room. I am 3/4 of the way there. It looks so much better, and you know what? I have alot of stuff in that craft room.
5) Walk at Lunch: Haven't started that what with the knee and all.
6) Call Carmax, Dermatologist and Dr. Office. I did one out of the three. Back on the list!
7)Cancel Moisturizer. I did that. Note to self: Don't fall for those on line gimmicks every again. No you can't get a free $500 Wal-Mart card that easily.
8) Organize one room. Just finished the craft room, and am 1/2 way through my reading room. Yay!
9) Meal Menu. Yeah, right. Didn't do so good on that one. Can I blame my husband?
10) Moderate exercise. About all I have done is remote control lifts. So next time I will be better.

So, you know, this journalling works. I can't really beat myself up to bad, because I did accomplish some things. And I can see where my weak areas are. So, back to square one and my three things.

Call Her Bluff.

Call it my alter ego, call it my inner self, today is the day I am calling her bluff. She says I can be fabulous at 50. She says I can accomplish anything I set out to accomplish. She believes I am invincible, a can do person, with a great smile, a strong contender for the good life, able to leap tall buildings. A Superwoman like no other.

I on the other hand fight her tooth and nail each day. I eat more than I should, exercise less than I need to, spend money, make and break my own promises, and apply a defeatist attitude to many days, many moments.

Mostly I do this when it's about me. To all those on the outside looking in, I am my inner self. To me, the outer doesn't match the inner. It's a constant struggle to finding me. I accept rejection silently, demand nothing from others, expect less and less for myself.

Today I am calling my own bluff. Today begins anew. Small steps toward a closer alignment of her and me. She and I. We.