Call Her Bluff.

Call it my alter ego, call it my inner self, today is the day I am calling her bluff. She says I can be fabulous at 50. She says I can accomplish anything I set out to accomplish. She believes I am invincible, a can do person, with a great smile, a strong contender for the good life, able to leap tall buildings. A Superwoman like no other.

I on the other hand fight her tooth and nail each day. I eat more than I should, exercise less than I need to, spend money, make and break my own promises, and apply a defeatist attitude to many days, many moments.

Mostly I do this when it's about me. To all those on the outside looking in, I am my inner self. To me, the outer doesn't match the inner. It's a constant struggle to finding me. I accept rejection silently, demand nothing from others, expect less and less for myself.

Today I am calling my own bluff. Today begins anew. Small steps toward a closer alignment of her and me. She and I. We.