Last week my Mom was home with an injured shoulder and my Dad was out of town. I worry and know how difficult it is to get around and get things done. No car, no one to talk to, so three days last week I took off work early and headed home to visit, get Mom out of the house and just provide some company. It appears it was a great thing not just for Mom but for me as well. Because as I get older, I appreciate my parents so much more. I don't mind listening to what they have to say, and I actually enjoy laughing, talking and coming up with plans and ideas. I also like looking back at the past.
On one particular day my Mom and I were talking about what we enjoyed as kids. I was having a difficult time with that. I couldn't think of any one thing that I truly was passionate about, that I kept as a hobby, continued through my life. I wasn't a collector, I wasn't a real sports enthusiast, although I swam, played tennis, softball, basketball, etc. But I didn't really excel at any of it.
And then I blurted it out: "Food". I don't know why I said it, but I think there was a lot of truth in that comment. Not to mention that it was the third visit of the week and already my Mom and I had been to Wegman's three times as if that was all we had to do: Shop for food.
My Mom looked at me in bewilderment and said, I am surprised you said that. I was too, but then she told me that when I was in modelling school in high school one of the instructors had told me that all I ever think about is food. And I came home that day upset and shared that with my Mom. I don't recall it but it must have had an impact.
But now over the past few weeks even before this I have felt that there might be some truth to that comment. Its been lingering in the back of my head for months now. That I eat food as though its filling some void, some hole in my life. I can't seem to get enough of it, can't say no to things I don't need.
As I began to analyze this thought I realized that its true in quite a few areas. But food seems to be doing the most damage as I am struggling with a huge weight issue. So where do I go from here? Its definitely something I am much more aware of. I know I can change, I just have to find the passion and desire to do so.
