Becoming a Stronger Woman.

Let's just get started. Its a no excuses kind of day today. I have made them and my alter ego is saying enough is enough. Like the Nike commercial she screams "Just do it". Enough already. You think you are so smart she asks? Well you are!! She screams. So quit acting helpless, hopeless. So perhaps you don't always think with a healthy mind, change that. Look at others, see how they respond to challenges, problems, issues of the heart, of work. What do they accept and reject? How do they respond and react?

I've been watching lately and I have learned a few things. Healthy, strong women don't settle. They aren't afraid to get hurt, and they don't shy away from the thought of hurting others. They don't go out of their way to be hurtful, but they realize that sometimes people will get hurt based on the decisions they have to make, and that is okay. Its not always fun, its not a requirement, but if it happens it is okay.

I on the other hand go out of my way to make people feel good. I don't want others to hurt, or be sad, or suffer because of me. And that isn't always good. Its not good if you are little by little sacrificing yourself and your own needs. If you are saying "yes" when you really feel inside that you should be saying "no", that is a sacrifice of yourself. And it doesn't allow the other person to learn and grow on their end either.

I have spent a life time going above and beyond for others at work, in my relationships. And recently, I got laid off. I honestly believe I was the biggest contributor to the company, generated the most ideas and had the most financial successes. But because I was so generous and so easy, the lay off came easy. The others made it difficult for the boss. They weren't as overly approachable, they didn't over extend themselves. You would think it would have been the other way around. But in reality, they stayed focused. They focused on themselves and the job they were given.

Its a very fine line to walk. For me, in my faith walk with God, we are to be givers. But we are not be walked on. If we create the opportunities for others to walk all over us, who is at fault?

My goal this year is to be authentic. To me that means speaking from the heart with genuine joy and compassion, integrity and passion. It means saying the difficult things sometimes, and doing my utmost to tell the truth no matter the outcome. But to do so with love, kindness and respect. It means not sacrificing my values, and at the same time being very sure of what my values are. Something I will be changing and learning along the way.

There is no right or wrong way here, only a path of learning and understanding about myself.

I want this blog to be for all of us who struggle. Who know that there is a better way, a deeper purpose and want to take the journey no matter how frightening. Will you join me?