Where's my "Weight Knight "?

It dawned on me today that I fail to succeed because I am always waiting for someone else to get me there. And I am not suggesting that they need to do the work for me, but I excuse myself because I don't want to exercise alone, I don't want to cook a separate meal for me and my husband, or he serves me portions that are too big. My husband by the way is a REED, a very thin REED. If you see the weight loss commercial where she loses it in her chest, he is the guy that loses it all over. My husband has never been heavy, but when I began the weight loss journey, he lost the weight. Its depressing. But there I go again, waiting for my weight Knight to come in and take it all away, to give me the energy to get up and get moving, To plan all my meals, to even put in the sweat equity I need to get the weight off.

I can excuse myself onto the couch for eternity, and no one, absolutely no one can do it for me. They can't solve my problems, only I can. Its rather daunting but also quite exhilirating when you begin to see that you are the decision maker. You decide what you are going to eat, how you are going to shape your future. Its your choice. Its your future. Sure, my husband plays a great big role in my life. A rather wonderful one I might add. Its nice to be able to have excuses, cut myself some slack. But seriously its more than that. My marriage is wonderful and loving, and good. But it won't solve any problems. It won't pay the bills, it won't lose the weight.

I have to believe in myself enough to get the job done. Its time to get up and gain control of the things in our lives that have gotten so out of control. But here's my tip. Don't try to do it all at once. We set lofty goals that set us up to fail. Pick three things, three specific things and see how you do on those. And if you fail, keep it as one of your three until you succeed. I guarantee you, this life is a good one, let's make it great together.

My three things:
1) Organize and Clean One Room
2) Plan my meal menu for next week
3) Moderate exercie (I have pulled out my knee and its painful) What can it do to get some exercise since I can't hardly walk?

My Three Things Today

As promised, each day will begin with my three things:
1) Go out for a walk at lunch time.
2) Make three past due phone calls: Carmax, the Dermatologist, Dr.Office (bill)
3) Cancel Moisturizer order at $87 a pop! Who needs a month of moisturizers for $87 a month, okay, this was a week moment kind of thing. I was feeling old, my face was feeling old. I was in a "depressed" watch television kind of spirit. So they got me for one month. Let's not make it a year!

Well, today has started out like any other day. I woke up feeling achy, sore, tired and I have to go to work. I work for a living. It pays the bills, it provides me with the oppportunity to make foolish purchases like the moisturizer up there at the top of my Three Things list. Lately, I have been looking at the money I make and realizing that I want it to go to better things. I want it to be able to provide for me long after I stop working. Early retirement would be nice thing. Can it be done? I think there is a way but first I have to get a handle on the spending. I have to quit spending. How can I do that? I love to spend as much as I love to eat, and its not often on myself, its for others.

Yesterday I was craving donuts (bad on two counts). First I wanted Krispy Creme donut (if that isn't two fat hips waiting to expand) and Second, I wanted to buy them for the company. Bring in a dozen for everyone. Now that may noat seem like a large expense, but I am always thinking of ways to spend money unnecessarily. Would you believe that yesterday, one of the girls came in with donuts. FOR HERSELF. Not to share, just to eat. Two of them FOR HERSELF. Now I can't comment on why she needed two, but I started thinking about what constitutes healthy behavior? Was she wrong for not thinking about everyone else in the company? Not at all.

So here is the lesson. I don't have to be all things to all people. It doesn't matter if everyone loves me, likes me or wants to be my friend. I need to focus on three things that will define who I am: God, My Husband, My family. It may not be the same three priorities for you. It doesn't matter, just put yourself first. The rest will come. I believe it will.

Three Things

I have to start somewhere. The tasks seem overwhelming, but I might as well document it here. Because at the end of a year, I believe that if I apply myself, Call Her Bluff, I will become a better, stronger, more authentic self. So here it all is:

I am overweight, 100 or more pounds overweight to be exact. My finances are at zero, meaning I have no savings. I do have equity in my house, I do have a car, and temporarily a full time job. At least for the next three months as I fill in for an administrative manager who was fired, and get paid to do her job at my old rate. The economy or perhaps the foolish spending in the company cost me full time status and a cut in salary, and I took it. Then when trouble hit, they asked me to come back full time, and I accepted. Humbled, humiliated, I went back. Was it the right thing or the wrong thing? For me, I think I lost a bit of my self. And if I had been financially stronger I believe my choice would have been different. But the life I created isn't financially sound and that needs to change if I no longer want to be controlled by the whims and thoughts of others.

I need to be my own boss. My first task this year is begin to accomplish three things each day that are personal accomplishments. Not for the job, not for others, not for anyone by me. Each daily entry will start out with my THREE THINGS. A simple life changing TO DO List. Three simple things, 365 days a year, for one full year. Join me. Start posting your three things. Let's start together today. Let's begin our lives again. We can do it!

Book: The Love Dare.

Have you read it? Have you heard about it? Well there is a new book out called the "Love Dare" and it challenges the reader to love their spouse by following the tasks over the next 40 days and it will change your relationship. God will change your relationship. Why would I do this you might ask? Well, lately I have looked in the wife mirror and haven't really liked what I was seeing. I was holding in a lot of anger, acting very critical, never satisfied, never happy and while some of it was justified, some of it was just plain mean and undeserving. I woke up one night and realized I was so angry at myself that I was turning it around and blaming him for my predictaments. Sure, he played a part, but my way of dealing with it was sure not helping either of us. So I decided to secretly take the 40 Day Love Dare. What was I thinking?

Day 1: Be patient, Don't say anything negative or argumentative to your husband. You can't advance off that day until you accomplish the goal. Imagine my chagrin when I woke and was made immediately aware of my mood and many things I wanted to say to many people. I hadn't even put my feet on the floor yet and I was already thinking about what I had to say. And not much of it was good. Then, I went downstairs. What is it with men? I did the laundry last night and have on so many occasions asked my husband not to put my pants in the dryer and leave them there. Why? Major wrinkles. So again, the second moment, where I wanted to say something, am not allowed to hold it in, and I am not allowed to say anything critical.

So I did the adult thing and decided perhaps it was best if I just didn't talk to him today. Because there was no way I could not bite my tongue, not say something, and if I had to say something negative I was to not say anything at all. I am sure that would not happen. I am the kind of woman that tries to be the bigger person, and then have spent so much time thinking about the perfect comment, response, or comeback that it has to come out. Lucky for me, my husband has a great sense of humor. He thinks everything I say is funny. Which by the way frustrates me even more!

So, about midday, I am feeling guilty, and I decided to call to say hello. Our normal habit. And guess what? I am not advancing off of Square One, Day One today. Patience and understanding with my husband needs major work. But I do love you Babe! Come back to hear more about the Love Dare. I won't be posting all 40 days, but I am sure there will be some interesting lessons along the way.

How are you doing on your three things? Let us konw.

My three things today:
1) Orgnazize my craft room
2) Call my brother and offer to help while wife is out of town
3) Try to get past Day 1 on the Love Dare

Journalling for a Healthy Life.

Well, I decided that this is the year for better health, and what better way to begin then to start exercising more and watching my weight. I had heard that it helps to journal what you eat but since I honestly believe that I eat like a Rabbit (very little)and I have my husband believing it too, I didn't think it would do much good. Well, let me tell you...I wrote down my caloric intake religiously the first day. Anything I popped into my mouth, I wrote down. At the end of the day I told my husband what I had eaten and asked if he thought it was much food. The truth was "IT WASN'T MUCH FOOD", but it was "ALOT OF CALORIES", 4200 calories to be exact. (You know, if you want to lose weight that number has to be below 3500). I was in shock, I still am. And I am journalling regularily now and becoming much more aware of what is going into my mouth, when it goes in, and why. A handful of peanuts here, 2 dove chocolates there, skipping dinner, popping a roll in my mouth. Doesn't sound like much does it? Well, the math speaks volumes. An ounce of cheddar cheese, can easily become 4 ounces in my day (I Love Cheese), a handful of peanuts can easily become two. I don't think I will journal for the rest of my life, but I will until I have a better understanding of the food that I am eating and its affect on my health.

I am not a meal planner, I skip meals often, I nibble alot, I don't exercise much even though when I do I feel wonderful! In this crazy little head of mine, I actually believed that for as little as I was eating, I should be bone thin! Right! Think again. It won't happen if you don't know the calories you are putting into your body. Its true, you can eat more and weigh less if you eat smart.

Three goals for this week:
1) Keep a food journal every day this week.
2) Continue to exercise one day a week.
3) If I clean up my crafting room, I am buying the cricut machine.

How is that for motivation?? :)